if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man
beholding his natural face in a glass: 24For
he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth
what manner of man he was.( James 1:)
I don't think I am who I think I am, even though, on the surface, that would seem to make the most sense. If that were the case, than I would be a different person year by year, in fact, moment by moment. This is especially so if I am what I am (I sound like Popeye) according to my feelings. "I am a happy person, I am a sad person, I am an angry person," etc, etc.
I wear many hats. And I have worn many others during my lifetime. I've been an Artist, a Teacher, a Mechanic, a Hobo, etc, etc. I am now a Writer of some proportion, a Musician (laughably so), a Luthier (more laughter), etc. And I am retired. So I can't very well describe myself according to what I do.
I am a fairly Elderly man, which is hard to define because when does Elderly begin? How about Middle-age, or Youth?
Could I say I am Good or Bad? I know what I try to be, but my attempt has many degrees of successes and failures. Sometimes I think of myself as Good, other times as Wicked.
As I see it, I can't really say that I am who I think I am.
How about who others think I am?
Well, there are some who Like me, and others who Hate me. Some have good cause for their outlook of me, and others don't. Ask different people, and you will receive different answers.
According to Society, and the Law, I am only as good as my worst act, even if that act is but for a brief moment. In fact, I am what Society thinks I have done, whether that opinion has any basis in fact or not.
I really think I would have to rule out what others think. I don't believe that others could have any more realistic a view of me than I can of myself.
How about what God thinks of me. I should suspect there would be more basis of truth in His opinion than in anyone else's.
The Bible tells us that He knows our thoughts; that He knew us before we were born, and that He knows what we have been, and what we will become. In fact, as I see it, this journey of ours here on earth is not for God to find out who we are, but so that we may learn what God already knows.
Considering the above, I would have to concede that God does know who I am. However, as of this moment, I don't see how that would help me know who I am.
Am I just passing through this mortal encumbrance never to pass this way again? Or, am I passing this way once more, and will again as many believe?
I've dabbled in this question elsewhere, so I won't go into it here; except to say that regardless of which is true, I don't see how it helps me know who I am at this point in time.
Perhaps it's not for me to know. Perhaps it's not so important who I am, but rather who I am working to become. Perhaps it's not even that, but rather who God is creating of me. Possibly it's the last two together. This seems to be what the Bible is trying to tell me.
I suspect that who I am is not something that God wants me to worry about; But it is something that He has taken on as His own responsibility -- if I allow Him.
I think I will have to settle for that, at least for now. If for no other reason than it relieves me of the responsibility of being, and allows me the freedom to work on the doing.
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