"Come on in, Sonny. Come on over here by your ol' Gran'pa."
"Don't be afear'd a' your gran'pa, chil'. He ain't gonna' bite ya none. Don't think so, nohow."
"T'wouldn't much count fer nothin' if'n he did. The ol' coot ain't got narry a tooth in his mouth."
"I don't know 'bout that. Ever see'd that ol' man chaw up a ear a' corn with those gums a' his?"
"Will you clowns pipe down? Me an the boy here is got some serious palaverin' to do."
"Sorry, mate, just funnin'"
"Don't pay them no mind, Sonny. They talks without forethought. You just come over here by my knee, and make yourself at ease."
"It's ok, Grandpa. I know they're just teasing me. Momma said you wanted to talk to me. Did I do something wrong?"
"Course not. Leastwise nothing that I heard of. Fact is, my boy, your mother tells me that you done been an extra fine boy. She said she done heard some mighty fine talk concerning her wee one."
"She did? I mean, that's good. Um. Isn't it?"
"Surely. She done said so. Why do you ask?"
"Well, when Momma said I should come and see you, she had that look on her face she always has when I've done something wrong. Do you know what I mean? Kind of a worried look, like she wants to yell at me, but she doesn't know what to yell."
"I know the look, Sonny. I suppose all mommas gets that look one time or another. But, so far as I know, that ain't the cause of her look on this occasion."
"That's good. Then why did she want me to talk to you, Grandpa?"
"Well, Sonny. It ain' that your Momma's tiffed at you, but she do have a concern or two. Nothing naughty, just puzzling'."
"I don't understand, Grandpa. She's not mad at me, but she's.... upset because of me?
"You nailed her down pretty good, I'd say. You got to understand, boy, your momma's a woman, and they can be tolerable hard to understand at times."
"Don't go tellin' the chil' such as that. You'll have him scared off womens before he's old enough to know they is a difference betwixt him an' them."
"I ain't told him nothing' he ain't suspected on his own account."
"That's ok, Grandpa. I know the difference between boys and girls."
"See? What'd I tell.... Hold on now! How'd you....? Oh, consarn it. I suppose that's another kettle o' fish to boil some other time. Besides, the fish we're a fryin' right now is beginning' to spoil on it's own accord from lack of proper tending to."
"I haven't done nothing wrong, Grandpa. It's just that in school...."
"Enough. I'll hear it on another confab. For the now, we needs to jaw about Mrs. Flavorhorn and you."
"Mrs. Flavorhorn? My piano teacher? What did I do wrong to her? I thought she liked me. At least, she's always nice to me."
"That be part of your momma's concern, my boy. The way the two of you gets along so well, I mean."
"Now I'm being bad, because I'm being good? Because someone likes me? You know, Grandpa? This growing up thing sure is hard. I never know what I'm supposed to do."
"'At's, true, shore 'nough. The lad's put a capper on the problem just as easy as you please."
"That's rightfully so, Sonny Boy. An' don't think it gets no easier when you grows up and lives with a wor'man who is your wife. They is even worst!"
"Don't go scarin' the boy none. Dealing with one wor'man at a time is challenge enough for any youngster."
"Hush up, you two. I has something' to say to the boy. Being friendly with folks is not your momma's worries, Sonny. What's got her feathers ruffled is how you does pleasantries for her, Mrs. Flavorhorn, I'm referring."
"My momma doesn't want me to do nice things for Mrs. Flavorhorn? She never told me that before."
"No, no. You see, my boy, your momma wonders why you do all those kindly things for other folks, and at home she always got's to chase you down to get you to do a proper task for her. That's the nutshell of it."
"What young'un is gonna' do such a thing as you is tellin' him to do. No chil' I ever hear'd of done such a thing."
"Ain't natural. That's what it ain't."
"Course not. Folks would wonder what the boy was up to."
"Ain't human natural is what it ain't."
"You willow-heads shut you're mouth. The boy has got something to say. Ain't you Son?
"It's alright, my boy. I'm mighty curious as to the cause of it my own self. Ain't nothing' wrong with being' kindly. Just surprising is all."
"Well, I guess it's because Momma is always mad at me. I mean, even when I try real hard to do what she says, she still yells at me. And sometimes she even says that I'm a 'bad boy', even when I try real hard to be good."
"That's the way of 'er, ok. Natural as rain."
"All womens is like that, chil'. Don't mean nothin by it, she don't."
"They're right, Sonny. Your momma's got lots a things on her mind. Don't pay her unkind words no heed."
"Mrs. Flavorhorn isn't like that. Whenever I do something for her, she tells me that I'm a good boy all the time. Even when I spill things or break something when I try to help. She doesn't get mad at me. It's fun to do things for her. It makes me feel good all over."
"I know what you mean, Sonny. We're all that way, ain't that so, fellas?"
"Feels good ta' feel good, alright."
"Easy ta' help folks what is appreciative, ok."
"Right-o. I shuns from folks what bad-mouth my kindly efforts."
"The lads head-on with this one, you betcha'"
"You got your mamma wrong, son. I know she dumps a load a gravel on you on occasion. All women do. It's a way of them. But your momma takes real kindly to all you do. She always says so. Ain't that so, fellas?"
"Shore 'nough. Al'as talking goodly things 'bout her wee one."
"Rightly so. Never see'd her where what she got special things ta' say 'bout that special kid a hers."
"Your mudda's proud as a brood hen a her darlin' chil'. No two ways about it."
"Really? She really says good things about me to people? How come she never says them to me?"
"Probable feels like maybe she might could spoil you with overly much flattery. Who knows" All I know is that is the way of mothers, and there's no accountin' for it."
"You treats your momma nice now, hear? Like your gran'pa say to do. She 'ppreciates what you does, 'spite a what she say."
"What've you been thinking, Sonny? Feel better about your momma now?"
"Yes Sir. I feel good now. From now on I'm going to do everything she says, and not take much to heart when she bawls me out."
"Sounds like a good plan, boy. When you gonna' start?"
"Right now! I'm going to run home and do something nice right now."
"You go on with yourself and do just that."
"Thanks, Grandpa. You're the tops! Bye!"
"Ain't that sweet? Gran'pa gots a kiss from the wee one."
"Cutest thing I ever sawed."
"Cut it out, fellas. Just being appreciative is all."
"You done good work with the lad, gran'pa."
"Fine job. But it weren't true, were it?"
"What weren't true?"
"'Bout his momma being 'ppreciative when she ain't"
"Course it's true. Wouldn't a' said it if it weren't."
"How long ya' think the boy will keep it up?"
"Keep what up?"
"Doin' good turns for his momma when she gets her back up on 'im."
"I don' know. Week, maybe two."
"He's a good lad. I gives him four or five."
"I says more. On account a' I thinks she is gonna' start speakin' rightly to the laddie. You wait an' see."
"May be so. But how long you give a'fore she falls back to callin' the kid no-account?"